Norman's Demesne

Time to Get Going Again

2012-01-27T11:18:00.000-06:00

One of my acquaintances asked me the other day about the Hopkins City Council Election. She said that she had read my blog and wanted to know what was happening.

Well, I have really let Norman's Demesne fall into neglect. The election was on November 8th and I did not win. I won only 10% of the votes. There will be no 'Boss Teigen' in Hopkins MN.

I am pleased that some people managed to notice that I participated. Mayor Gene Maxwell called me to ask if I would serve on the Hopkins Park Board. I was sworn in at a regularly scheduled Hopkins City Council meeting and attended my first Park Board meeting last week.

So, for now, I need to learn about the Hopkins City Parks and follow up on my responsibilities.

My volunteer activities are: King of Grace Lutheran School; Richfield MN Historical Society; Mill City Museum; Hopkins Park Board.

Hopkins City Council Election - 2011

2011-10-18T08:10:00.000-05:00

The election day of November 8, 2011 is drawing closer.

Click on the link to view my website.

http://web.me.com/norman61/Site/Welcome.html

I ask for your vote. Please let me know your questions and concerns. I am here to serve you.

Sincerely,

Norman Teigen

Hopkins City Council - November 8, 2011

2011-10-02T12:15:00.004-05:00

The activities for the campaign are beginning. The voters of the city are starting to take notice.

I am running for Hopkins City Council because I have a passion for the City of Hopkins. I love this place. My wife and I have lived here for the past 12 years.

I am running for City Council because I am able to process information and make sound decisions. City Council members vote and make legal decisions. City Council members must be able to make wise decisions about the issues.

There is a need for council members to judge issues on their own merits. Pre-conceived notions of what should be, or what should not be, need to be set aside. Each issue must be considered carefully so that the best interests of all of the citizens of Hopkins prevail.

I listen to people. People trust me to follow up on their concerns. Please check out my website at
http://web.me.com/norman61/Site/Welcome.html

I ask for your vote.

(I am a Vietnam veteran. I served in the Army with the First Aviation Brigade. This photo was recently snapped at the Veterans' Museum in Madison WI.)

Late Night Jokes

2011-09-30T08:15:00.000-05:00

"Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie." –David Letterman

"The two American hikers have been released from Iran and they're trying to reintroduce them to American culture. Right now, they're in a screening room outside of Washington, going through Jennifer Aniston comedies." –David Letterman

"There was no communication for the two years they were captive. There were a couple of emails from Anthony Weiner, but that's it." –David Letterma

More Late Night Jokes

2011-09-30T08:14:00.001-05:00

"President Obama is criticizing Rick Perry for denying global warming. Can understand why Rick Perry doesn't take global warming seriously. As governor of Texas, he's probably fried more people than global warming all put together." –Jay Leno

"President Obama claims his new jobs bill will be better than his old jobs bill, which only created one job that went to a guy named Bill." –Jay Leno

"Herman Cain won the Republican straw poll in Florida. Cain has had more wins in Florida this year than the Miami Dolphins." –Jay Leno

"President Obama's visit to Los Angeles has really messed up traffic. It took me two hours to get to work. Of course, I ride a little girl's bike to work." –Conan O'Brien

"Obama was heckled by someone who said, 'Don't forget about medical marijuana.' The Secret Service has narrowed the suspects down to everyone in L.A." –Conan O'Brien

"New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie vetoed a tax break for 'Jersey Shore.' The veto made Snooki so angry that she turned orange-red." –Conan O'Brien

"Hallmark has launched a line of recession-themed cards that say, 'Sorry you lost your job.' The good news is, the cards come pre-addressed to your congressman." –Conan O'Brien

"Joe Biden was a guest on 'The View' today. It was a little weird, When Whoopi said it was time for 'Hot Topics,' Biden was like, 'The sun! Coffee! Toasters! Did I win?'" –Jimmy Fallon

Hopkins City Council Election

2011-09-08T11:26:00.001-05:00

The election will be held on November 8, 2011. I am one of the candidates. The League of Women Voters will sponsor a forum on October 6th and this will be broadcast on local public access television. My preparations for the campaign are still being made. Hopkins is a city of some 17,000 persons with an area of some four square miles. Hopkins is a second tier suburb with Minneapolis being but a short distance away. Hopkins is surrounded by Minnetonka, Edina, St. Louis Park, and Eden Prairie.

Martin Teigen's bio

2011-08-20T07:14:00.000-05:00

"Martin Teigen (Fifty-fifth District) was born in the Township of Meadow, Blue Earth county, 1874. In 1879 the family moved to Jackson county. He received most of his education in the schools of the state. In 1900 he emigrated to Bottineau county, N.D., where he filed on a homestead where he resided for 29 years. Besides farming he was connected with various co-operative organizations. In 1926, he bought a farm in Mille Lacs county."

Author's note: Meadow Township is actually Medo Township. Martin attended Luther College in Decorah Iowa and the University of Minnesota. He was a graduate of Luther Seminary in Robbinsdale MN. He was ordained a Lutheran minister in 1900 in Willmar MN. He served as a Lutheran pastor in North Dakota until 1915. My late father, Bjarne Teigen, told me that Martin left the Lutheran ministry because of stomach problems. Martin managed grain elevators in Kramer ND and one other location which I am temporarily unable to remember.

Source: The Legislative Manual of the State Minnesota Compiled for The Legislature of 1933 by Mike Holm Secretary of State.

1932 Election Tally - Greenbush Twp. Mille Lacs County

2011-08-19T08:38:00.001-05:00

Voters in the United States and in Minnesota voted for Franklin Delano Roosevelt for President in 1932. Floyd B. Olson of the Farmer Labor party was elected governor.   Martin Teigen was elected to the Minnesota Legislature.

The voters in Greenbush Township, Martin Teigen's home, voted 312 for FDR and 90 for Herbert Hoover. Governor Olson received 323 votes to Earle Browne's 76. The FL Lieutenant-Governor K.K. Solberg easily outdistanced his nearest rival Republican T.O. Streissguth, 272 to 72.    FL Candidate John Lyons took 241 votes in the Secretary of State Race to Republican Mike Holm's 132 (Holm won the overall election).

Knud Wefald FL was elected Railroad and Warehouse Commissioner over Oscar A. Sweson and took 273 votes in Greenbush Township to Swenson's 74.   In Greenbush, FL Candidate Harry Peterson received 271 votes to Republican Henry Benson's total of 74.

Greenbush Township was receptive to Farmer Labor politics.   Where did Martin Teigen fit into this picture?

Martin Teigen was not a Farmer Labor Party guy. As we will see later in this series, he unfavorably compared some of the Farmer Labor programs in Minnesota with Non-Partisan League programs which he had experienced in North Dakota in earlier days.

I think of Martin Teigen as somewhat of a progressive, albeit a conservative progressive. I will write more later about the Non-partisan League of North Dakota and Martin's involvement in a competitive political program, the Independent Voters League.

Martin lived in North Dakota from 1900 to 1928.

Jokes of the Day - August 19, 2011

2011-08-19T08:22:00.000-05:00

"President Obama is on a bus tour to talk about jobs, and it turns out the bus was made in Canada. If he were a real American that bus would have been made in China.USA! USA!" –Conan O'Brien

"Obama said the housing market may not pick up again for another year or longer. On the bright side, President Obama now has nine people interested in his house." –Conan O'Brien

"Michele Bachmann said that when she is president, gas prices will come down to less than $2 a gallon. When asked how she’ll make that happen, she said she'll hunt down the CEO of Exxon and stare at him." –Conan O'Brien

"A new survey has Rick Perry ahead of Mitt Romney by 11 points, and Michele Bachmann is five points behind him. I think it’s going to come down to who wears the most flag pins." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Perry is an attractive candidate for many conservatives, because he wants smaller government, to cut national spending, and he knows how to fire a grenade launcher. He’s like the Sarah Palin of politics." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Rick Perry was once a Democrat. Just once, in college. He was experimenting." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Donald Trump may be running for president, and why not? He’s got that everyman quality that we can all relate to." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Rick Perry is now the front runner. Of course they’re letting him run in front. Because he’s the one with the gun." –Stephen Colbert

‎"Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote." -- Stephen Colbert

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

1930 Census re Martin Teigen

2011-08-17T06:11:00.000-05:00

Pete Teigen (a cousin of mine, a grandson of Martin, a son of Rolf) has made this information available.

Martin Teigen in 1930 lived in Greenbush Township, Mille Lacs County, Minnesota.

Martin Teigen was 58 at the time of the census . He was married to Mathilda when he was 34. Mathilda was 52 in 1930 and she was 27 when married. Martin and Mathilda were both children of Norwegian immigrants. Martin was not a veteran. Martin and Mathilda were farmers.

All of the Teigen children were born in North Dakota. Erling T. was 23; Bjarne W. 20; Torald N. 18; Gudrun I. 17; Ingolf O. 14; Rolf A. 13.

Norman Teigen for Hopkins City Council - 2011

2011-08-15T10:19:00.000-05:00

Two seats on the Hopkins MN City Council have become open and I am running for one of them. The election is November 8th. I expect that the election will revolve around financial issues.

I have lived in Hopkins since 2000. I am retired and spend my time as a volunteer.

The campaign, as I see it now, doesn't really start until October 6th when the League of Women Voters sponsors a televised forum at City Hall. My intention is to prepare for that event by gathering as much information as I can about the issues of the election. I spent five bucks to have my name put on the ballot, and, at this point, that is all of the money that I intend to spend on the campaign.

I will see the city director of finance on the 13th to learn what I can learn about city finances.

Martin Teigen Wins Seat in Legislature - 1932

2011-08-15T10:15:00.000-05:00

Martin Teigen was elected to the Minnesota Legislature in the 1932 election as a representative from the 55th District in the 1933 session. The 55th was located in Kanabec, Mille Lacs, and Sherburne Counties. Teigen was a farmer from Greenbush Township in Mille Lacs County.

Two representatives served the 55th District. The elections results for 1932 were as follows:

Fay Cravens 6,340
Martin Teigen 5,872
John E. Odegard 5,561
Carl Engstrom 5,296

Since the focus here is on Martin Teigen, I note that he received 1,661 votes in Kanabec County, 2,553 in Mille Lacs County, and 1,658 votes in Sherburne County.

The Princeton Union reported on November 10, 1932 that Cravens and Engstrom were affiliated with the Democratic Farmer Labor Party (DFL). The Union reported with some regret that if Teigen and Odegard had joined forces they both might have won.

The Union noted with regret that Odegard was a favorite representative of the paper. "Sincere regret is felt in Princton village for the defeat of John Odegard who has most creditably represented this district in the house for five terms. He had a reputation for being a hard worker and was given important committee assignments. Mr. Odegard has served his district well and it is to be hoped that his retirement from the legislature is only temporaryl"

In Greenbush Township Teigen received 303 votes while Odegard only received 113 votes.

So, the Princeton Union favored Teigen and Odegard but Greenbush voters thought more of Teigen than Odegard.

[My cousin Pete Teigen is the source of information for the Princeton Union. Thanks, Pete. I wouldn't even have started this project without you.]

I am back again

2011-08-15T09:46:00.000-05:00

Some of my family and friends have said that they miss the jokes on my blog. So, I have decided to get back into the blog again.

Dan Kurtz continues to send me political jokes on Friday so I will start the jokes again on Friday.

Another reason to start blogging again is because I am running for Hopkins City Council. The election will be on November 8th. I will write about my activities as I pursue this seat on the council.

I am also reading about my grandfather Martin Teigen who served in the Minnesota legislature in the nineteen thirties. To my knowledge, I am the only member of my family to seek public office since my grandfather.

So, weekend jokes, Norman's campaign for City Council, and Martin Teigen in the Minnesota legislature.

This blog is now closed

2011-06-06T19:44:00.000-05:00

I have discovered Facebook and will now discontinue my blogging.

40th Anniversary - DEROS, ETS 1971

2011-06-02T15:35:00.000-05:00

Forty years ago I was in Long Binh getting ready to go home. I was a real short-timer. I had been in Viet-Nam since November of 1970 but I was awarded an early out to go back to Minnesota for advanced study.

My DEROS (date of effective return from overseas service) was June 8, 1971. My flight left Tan Son Nhut at 11:30 pm and landed in Oakland half an hour earlier than it had taken off, thanks to the International Date Line.

My ETS (expiration term of service) was June 9, 1971. I was given a fresh set of Army greens and a ticket from San Francisco to Minneapolis.

To try to get the whole experience in perspective, I have added a book to my collection. Wiest, Andrew, ed. Rolling Thunder In A Gentle Land The Vietnam War Revisited, Westminster MD: Osprey, 2006.

OBL - May 6, 2011 #2

2011-05-06T08:10:00.000-05:00

"Osama bin Laden, as we speak, is living with Spongebob in a pineapple under the sea." –Jimmy Kimmel

"He's up to 2,000 friends on Shot In The Facebook." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama gave the order for Navy SEALs to kill bin Laden. When President Bush heard about it, he was really upset, saying, 'I could have used seals?'" –Conan O'Brien

“By the way, 'buried at sea'? means 'dumped in the ocean.' That’s what they did with him. They dumped him in the ocean. Now I won't feel so guilty about peeing in the water anymore when I go to the beach."? –Jimmy Kimmel

"And so, Osama Bin Laden got his first bath in almost ten years. This could the best shark week ever." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Finding bin Laden was like finding a needle in a country that swore it didn’t have needles." –Stephen Colbert

"I think the next election just got a lot easier for President Obama 'cause his response to every question during the debates will be: 'Wait, I forget…Did you kill Osama Bin Laden? Or did I kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh no, it was me, wasn't it?'" –Craig Ferguson

"It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'" –Jay Leno

"Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved." –Jay Leno

"Oddly enough, bin Laden's last words were, 'I hope you at least use this to interrupt 'Celebrity Apprentice.'' –Jimmy Fallon

"Osama bin Laden is dead, which means the No. 1 threat to America is now the KFC Double Down." –Conan O'Brien

"Bin Laden was living in a house with no Internet access, which explains why there were all those bin Laden sightings at the Islamabad Kinko's." –Conan O'Brien

"Osama bin Laden was killed by U.S. forces. Everyone on TV has been really happy. Glenn Beck was crying — and then he found out about Osama." –Craig Ferguson

"Looking for Bin Laden was like a 10-year game of Where’s Waldo. Only better because when you finally find Waldo you get to storm his compound and put a cap in his ass." –Craig Ferguson

"President Obama must be very happy because he finally took down his arch enemy: Donald Trump. The bin Laden announcement interrupted 'Celebrity Apprentice.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Bin Laden lived in this compound in Pakistan with all of his wives for 6 years. So he did suffer." –David Letterman

"I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a much brighter start to the week." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Oddly enough, bin Laden's last words were, 'I hope you at least use this to interrupt 'Celebrity Apprentice.'' –Jimmy Fallon

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

It's All About OBL - May 6, 2011

2011-05-06T08:06:00.001-05:00

"The news of bin Laden's death interrupted this week's episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice.' Which begs the question, how do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?" –Conan O'Brien

"The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they've granted President Obama full citizenship." –David Letterman

"Osama bin Laden had money and telephone numbers sewn into his clothes. Apparently we got him just as he was on his way to summer camp." -Jay Leno

"After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'" –Craig Ferguson

"How about those Navy Seals. We're getting our money's worth there. They broke into Osama bin Laden's compound with 12-foot walls topped by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head." –David Letterman

"Apparently, members of Al Qaeda are online slamming the U.S. I don't understand why they're so upset. Everyone in Al Qaeda just got a promotion." –Craig Ferguson

"There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans." –David Letterman

"The hot new drink around the country is the bin Laden. It's a Colt 45 and a shot that goes right to your head." –Jay Leno

"Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, 'the ultimate waterboarding.'" –Jay Leno

"The White House says they will release the Osama bin Laden death photo. Better yet, they’re doing it on a set of limited edition commemorative plates." –Conan O'Brien

"What?! Not only did we kill Bin Laden, we killed him in Abottabad! Abottabad sounds like name most New Yorkers would have invented for the fictional place they would have loved to kill Bin Laden." –Jon Stewart

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Zappenin' at 1106-April 21, 2011

2011-04-21T11:45:00.002-05:00

BB misses Romy and Sam and likes to perch by their wedding picture.

TBH's flowers are starting to come up. The trees are starting to bud.

Norman has been doing a lot of walking.

The big city snow pile at the end of the street is greatly reduced.

Dave had a stent procedure in Brownsville TX. He's doing OK.

Lots of funerals among our acquaintanceship.

TBH will spend the first weekend in May at Hay Lake with friends.

Norman's Adopt-A-Highway trash picking activity will start on Saturday.

Our church with the collapsed roof should be restored by mid-August.

Next Wednesday Norman starts six weeks at Fort Snelling Historical Site as a greeter. On May 1st there is a History Day competition at the University of Minnesota which means a busy, full day for Norman the Judge.

The Hwy 169-Bren Road road construction project will necessitate a search for a new coffee shop.

TBH and I will go to our first Twins game on June 18th and celebrate our 38th anniversary in the upper deck of Target Field.

Joe Mauer has bi-lateral weakness in his legs and is on the DL. The Twins batters can't hit and the Twins pitchers can't pitch.

Spring is here at 1106.

Photo of the month

2011-04-19T09:16:00.001-05:00

This is from the National Geographic. Subscribe today for great photos.

TBH and Norman With Aunt Helga

2011-04-15T08:58:00.003-05:00

Aunt Helga's funeral was earlier this week. We said good-bye several weeks ago. We will remember her smile and her charm and her wit.

Anniversary of Fort Sumter

2011-04-12T05:02:00.000-05:00

The shooting began in earnest on this day in 1861. It is one of the most significant dates in American history. Over 600,00 people died in the four year war.

Glenn Beck - a national joke

2011-04-08T07:54:00.001-05:00

"Fox News announced today that Glenn Beck will leave his show later this year. It's nothing personal. He just wants to spend more time with the voices in his head." –Jimmy Fallon

"Fox News is dropping Glenn Beck's show. He spent the whole day crying his eyes out, and then he heard his show was getting dropped." –Craig Ferguson

On Glenn Beck's complaints that critics of Arizona's immigration are making Nazi comparisons: "Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck — this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel." —Lewis Black, in a brilliant Daily Show rant in which he demonstrated that Glenn Beck has "Nazi Tourette's"

"Our good friend, Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska, is a contributor to Fox News. Only been there a couple days. Already making friends. Today, she loaned Glenn Beck some mascara that does not run when you cry." –David Letterman

"Some critics are saying that Palin won't last on Fox because she's an over-emotional woman who gets the facts wrong. But I disagree. It's working great for Glenn Beck, so she'll be fine." –Craig Ferguson

"But here's how it works. Here's the official line of succession in control of the Republican Party. If Rush Limbaugh is disabled in any way, then control of the party is passed to Glenn Beck. That's the line of succession." –David Letterman

"Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck's radio show as 'B. Hussein from Kenya.'"

"Fox News host Glenn Beck has lost over 30 sponsors since he called President Obama a racist. And the latest sponsor that he just lost is Clorox bleach. That's amazing. Even a company whose sole purpose is to make things whiter thinks Glenn Beck has gone too far." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." --Conan O'Brien

"And as you know, Santa Claus is working very hard with his elves to make sure every child gets at least one toy this Christmas, or as Glenn Beck calls that, 'socialism.'" –Jay Leno

"Glenn Beck had an emergency appendectomy, but he'll be back on the air tomorrow. That's right. However, for his first day back, doctors are warning Glenn to take it easy and only compare Obama to Hitler three times an hour." –Conan O'Brien

"During the middle of his show, Fox News commentator Glenn Beck was rushed to the hospital for an attack of appendicitis. Yeah. Apparently, Beck was crying and screaming incoherently, so his audience assumed everything was normal." –Conan O'Brien

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

More jokes on April 8, 2011

2011-04-08T07:52:00.004-05:00

"The White House said that President Obama will not focus on full-time campaigning for a long time. Yeah, he wants to wait a year or two before he gets serious about it -- just like he did with being president." —Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama is going to seek reelection. His slogan this time? 'Change you can believe in. This time I promise. Really.'" —Jay Leno

"President Obama will run for reelection in 2012. He's not breaking up with us! He wants to work things out! He's forgiving our poor record on post-recession job creation, our incessant demands to be talked to, every time we go to war." —Jon Stewart

"President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate." —Craig Ferguson

"So far the Republican field looks like a bunch of guys responding to a Craigslist ad for a free couch." —Stephen Colbert

"Officials at BP have filed for permits to drill for oil again in the Gulf of Mexico. They say the oil is easier to find than ever because it's mostly on top of the water." —Conan O'Brien

"There's a $376 million semi-secret construction project happening at the White House, and it's rumored that a tunnel is being built underneath. That's a lot of work for President Obama to get away from his mother-in-law. Let the man have a cigarette." —Jimmy Kimmel

"I think Obama is building an underground Kenya. A new subterranean land so he can Africanize us from below. I heard that on Fox News." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Bravo is canceling 'The Real Housewives of D.C.' after just one season. That's when unemployment is bad, when people who don't even have jobs are losing their jobs." —Jimmy Fallon

"Donald Trump said he can't make a final decision about whether he will run for president or not until this season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is over. Which is maybe the best excuse from a guy who might run for the presidency ever — I am unable to decide on whether or not I will run for President until I decide whether Latoya Jackson or Jose Canseco will be my new Apprentice." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Due to the budget impasse, the federal government may shut down next week. There will be another season of 'Jersey Shore,' but the U.S. government is still up in the air." —Conan O'Brien

"If Congress can't agree on a budget by midnight Friday, the government will shut down. Democrats are demanding to tax all of the people's money and use it to fund abortions, while the Republicans want to sell the country to Exxon Mobil and relocate gays to Puerto Rico." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Members of Congress will still get paid if there's a shutdown. So it will be just like it is now. We'll be paying them to do nothing." —Jay Leno

"A lot of public beaches may also be shut down, which could severely whiten John Boehner." —Jimmy Kimmel

"It's being reported that Katie Couric will be leaving CBS before the presidential campaigns. Who will be brave enough to ask Sarah Palin questions that should be incredibly easy to answer now?" —Jimmy Kimmel
"While covering the war in Libya Geraldo Rivera was shot at by Gaddafi's forces. See, you never hear about the good things Gaddafi does." —Jay Leno

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

April 8, 2011-Shutdown jokes and more

2011-04-08T07:51:00.001-05:00

"We're heading for a government shutdown. This is serious. Without the government who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our borders? Who will put us 14 trillion dollars in debt?" —Jay Leno

"The White House may have to lay off all nonessential workers if the government shuts down. You know: interns, pages, Biden..." —Jimmy Fallon

"We are just four days away from the government shutdown, which will cripple the VA, Social Security and Medicare. So I get to snuff out one more candle on my Government Shutdown Menorah. Shutdownica celebrates the miracle of telling veterans and the elderly that they can suck it." —Stephen Colbert

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

St. Anthony Falls, Minneapolis - April 7, 2011

2011-04-07T15:37:00.002-05:00

The water is flowing over St. Anthony Falls at 35,000 cubic feet per second.

Morning Walk in Minnetonka - Lone Lake

2011-04-07T10:37:00.001-05:00

I caught two Canadian geese in flight. How lucky is that. [double click for best view]

The ice isn't out yet, but this creature was waiting like an early morning holiday shopper at Wal-Mart.

The trail is blocked by fallen trees. It's been a tough winter.

There isn't much open water on Lone Lake on April 7, 2011

There is some snow yet on parts of the trail.

The intrepid hiker. Next stop Einstein's bagels.

April Fool 2011-Timberwolves v. Miami

2011-04-03T07:46:00.003-05:00

Before the game had started, the Timberwolves asked if I would take over the coaching duties from Rambis. I said that I would think about it.

The Timberwolves lead 52-51 at the half. The Heat went on a 25-1 run early in the 3rd quarter and it was then that I told the Timberwolves that I didn't want the job. [double click on this picture for best viewing.]

There's more to laugh at on April 1, 2011

2011-04-01T09:50:00.001-05:00

"Sarah Palin continues to make significant contributions to the English language. She asked, 'Is Libya a war, an intervention, a squrmish, what is it?' Squirmish is how I feel every time I hear Sarah Palin talk." –Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama says that he prays every night before bed. Or as Fox News reported, 'Obama in Daily Talks With Allah.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Obama said that one solution for using less oil is more nuclear power. He also admitted that he doesn't follow the news." –Conan O'Brien

"In an interview with ABC, President Obama said he has to do something about the bags under his eyes. In response, Nancy Pelosi was like, 'Call this number and tell them Pelosi sent you.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama's approval rating just hit an all-time low of 42 percent. To put that in perspective, the cobra that escaped from the Bronx Zoo has an approval rating of 43 percent." –Jimmy Fallon

"Newt Gingrich said he's afraid America will become an atheist country dominated by radical Islamists. Right. Our big problem could be religious atheists, almost as bad as pacifist warmongers. If they hook up with the communist capitalists we're screwed." –Jay Leno

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

'Newt Gingrich may have more war positions than he's had wives'-Jokes - April 1, 2011

2011-04-01T09:45:00.001-05:00

Anthony Weiner D-NY, on learning to roll with jokes about his surname and why John Boehner should follow suit: "Who is Boehner fooling? What am I, Anthony Wainer? I'm serious, brother, just embrace it!""

Weiner on Rahm Emanuel: "Who knew that all it took to be a mayor of a big city is to be a hot-tempered, arrogant, loud Jew with nine-and-a-half fingers? In other news, I've taken a job at Arby's as the meat cutter."

Weiner on whether Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) was at the dinner: "She's probably not — she's campaigning Iowa and organizing in that important caucus state because she's running for president. That's really all I have for that joke."

Rand Paul (R-KY) on Newt Gingrich: "I was happy to see that Newt Gingrich has staked out a position on the war; a position or two, or maybe three,. I don't know. He may have more war positions than he's had wives."

Paul on Fox News's coverage of Obama and Libya: There's a big debate over there. Fox News can't decide, what do they love more, bombing the Middle East or bashing the president? It's like I was over there and there was an anchor going, they were pleading, can't we do both? Can't we bomb the Middle East and bash the president at the same time? How are we going to make this work?" (Watch video of Paul's failed attempt at stand-up comedy)

Cedric Richmond (D-New Orleans) on NPR: "NPR, it's good to see you here. Next year you might very well not be here" (referring to a recent House vote to defund to National Public Radio).

Rep. Ben Quayle (R-AZ) on one of his father's infamous gaffes: "So he misspelled 'potato.' In the words of another vice president, 'big effing deal.'"

Quayle picking a fight with Politico: "Although I come from a newspaper family, we seem to have a strained relationship with the press. 'Strained' is a polite term for 'troubled.' And 'the press' is a generous term for 'Politico.' You know, it took everything I had not to refer to Politico as the worst media outlet in history. It's not that I don't believe that assertion, but I don't want to get into hyperbole."(Watch video of Quayle's disastrous comedy act)

It wasn't all amateur hour. There was also a professional comedian in the house. Larry Wilmore, The Daily Show's "senior black correspondent," entertained the crowd with jabs at Obama and the media:

Wilmore on Obama: "Let me clear things up. I voted for Obama because he's black. I don't have disappointment issues. As long as he keeps being black." Wilmore added that he would demand more from the second black president.

Wilmore on why Obama was a no-show: "Maybe he thought that by coming to the Congressional Correspondents' dinner, it would seem like he consults with Congress, I don't know."

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Zappenin' at 1106 - March 28, 2011

2011-03-28T18:23:00.000-05:00

It was clear and sunny today so I walked to the 'Bou. The forecast indicates that our snow should disappear in the next week.

My Chicago aunt was here for a few days but she has now returned to her home.

Miss Peaches has responded well to her anti-biotic medication. BB is as lively as ever. We let her out each day and she always comes back home.

The Twins opener is on Friday in Toronto. I predict that the team will do well again this year. I think that both Chicago teams will have strong seasons. I see the New York teams disappointing their fans. The Phillies seem to be strong. I think that Texas will be good.

I have the baseball app for the iPad which gives me broad coverage for all of the major league teams.

Two Minnesotans are being mentioned as presidential candidates. These candidates aren't anything to crow about so I will not mention them by name.

A 100 year old friend of the Teigen family passed away last week. She was a dear lady.

Jokes leftover from last Friday - March 28, 2011

2011-03-28T10:42:00.002-05:00

"We're at war? Again? Don't we already have two? Wars aren't like kids, where you don't have to worry about the youngest one because the other two will take care of it." —Jon Stewart

"We now have wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya! Aren't we out of money? You can't simultaneously fire teachers and Tomahawk missiles." —Jon Stewart

"According to reports, Gaddafi is surrounded by an elite corps of female bodyguards, all of whom are virgins. In a related story, today Charlie Sheen invaded Libya." —Conan O'Brien

"Did you see the footage of French planes bombing Libya? The planes look brand new, like they've never been used before." —Jay Leno

"Gadhafi said his people 'love him.' I think that's what he said. It was hard to hear over the rebel gunfire." —David Letterman

"The name of the U.S. operation in Libya is 'Odyssey Dawn.' It's the first military action to be named by Crabtree & Evelyn." —Conan O'Brien

"We're now fighting three wars! Imagine how many it would be if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize." —Jay Leno

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Breaking news from Minnesota Historical Society

2011-03-28T10:40:00.000-05:00

The MNHS has announced a new director: " New Director and Chief Executive officer, Stephen Elliott was hired and will begin in May. Stephen has been the head of the New York State Historical Association since 2005. "

Minnesota Musings. March 21, 2011

2011-03-21T17:19:00.000-05:00

Bach's birthday was observed on Saturday. Five concerts were held in St. Paul. The Irish crawled from pub to pub on St. Patrick's Day. Bachophiles crawled from concert hall to concert hall on the 19th.

Flooding is a huge concern. The Red, the St. Croix, the Mississippi, and the Minnesota will be troublesome for the next several weeks.

Wally the Beerman Trial has gone to the jury. I believe that Wally was a victim of Target Field police entrapment. Acquit Wally the Beerman! Caroline Lowe, WCCO-TV, said that Wally looked pretty sober when he left the court house today.

Jim Souhan, my favorite local sportswriter, is optimistic about the Twins. Maybe, he opines, there is reason for optimism because every other team here stinks so badly.

Mill City Museum - March 18, 2011

2011-03-18T16:42:00.001-05:00

Our regular manager is away on vacation. Rod was asked to be Manager for the Day. In Mill City Museum parlance, Rod was the MOD. In honor of his selection I composed this poem:

MOD Rod

A jovial staffer named Rod
Was asked to be the MOD
Of the Mill City Museum,
Many people came in to see 'im.
That likable fellow, MOD Rod.

more jokes on March 18, 2011

2011-03-18T08:40:00.002-05:00

"President Obama went on ESPN to announce his NCAA tournament picks. Or, as Japan put it, 'Really?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"In a speech Obama said women earn 75 cents for each dollar a man makes, to which Sarah Palin said, 'Have you met Todd?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Al Qaeda has launched its own womens magazine. I bought a copy, and I tell you right now, those ankles are totally airbrushed." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hillary Clinton visited Egypt today for the first time since the uprising. When asked why she went, Bill Clinton said, "Believe me, if anyone can stop an uprising, it's Hillary." –Jimmy Fallon

"Washington, D.C. is the most socially networked city in the country, which is why you could hear in the Senate today, “All in favor vote 'like.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama told middle school students that he was always in trouble in the 8th grade. In fact, he was once sent to the principal's office because he said the dog ate his birth certificate." –Jay Leno

"Tea Party candidate Michele Bachmann said the Revolutionary War started in New Hampshire when it really started in Massachusetts. Interesting that a woman who believes so strongly in states rights can't get her states right." –Jay Leno

"Newt Gingrich explained why he fooled around on his first two wives by saying he loved this country so much that it led him to cheating. He was so passionate about it he had to take his pants off. When I hear the National Anthem I just put my hand over my heart." –Jay Leno

"The situation is deteriorating in Libya and Japan and the stock market is collapsing worldwide. President Obama finally took decisive action. He named Duke, Kansas, Ohio State and Pittsburgh as his Final Four." –Jay Leno

"Surprisingly, March Madness is not that big in the Middle East. Because they have April Madness, May Madness, June Madness, and more." –Jay Leno

"Al-Qaida has now launched a woman's magazine that will have everything from fashion to terror advice. Unfortunately, women are not allowed to read it." –Jay Leno

"President Obama held a meeting on bullying, and he revealed that he himself is bullied every day, by Fox News." –Jay Leno

"Today is the Ides of March, the day on which in 44 B.C. Julius Caesar was stabbed to death by 60 Roman Senators. That could never happen today. We can't get 60 Senators to agree on anything." –Jay Leno

"Life expectancy in the U.S. has risen to a new record of 78.2 years. The bad news is, the average age a person has to work to before they can retire is now 78.3 years." –Jay Leno

March 18, 2011 Presidential Jokes

2011-03-18T08:38:00.001-05:00

President Obama drew big laughs as he poked fun at himself and his potential 2012 GOP rivals at the Gridiron Club Dinner.

It was Obama's first appearance as president at the annual white-tie gala, where the media elite and political classes come together to lampoon each other — and feed suspicions that they're all in bed together.

Stepping to the podium as the Marine Band played "Hail to the Chief," Obama got the laughs rolling from the get-go as he waved them off and instead told them to "play that song we talked about." The band broke into "Born in the U.S.A."

"Some things just bear repeating," Obama quipped, wryly referencing the birthers who refuse to believe he's an American.

More highlights from Obama's stand-up routine:

On the last time he appeared at the Gridiron dinner in 2006: "Back then I was a newcomer who couldn't get anything done in the Senate. Now I'm a president who can't get anything done in the Senate."

On potential GOP presidential candidate Tim Pawlenty: "Tim Pawlenty's not here, but he's hit the campaign trail hard. And to be honest, I think the American people are going to have some tough questions for Tim. Specifically, 'Who are you and where do you come from?' Which is OK. Two years into my presidency and I'm still getting those questions."

On Mississippi's portly Gov. Haley Barbour supporting Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign: "Haley, when Michelle said you need to run, she didn't mean for president!"

On potential GOP rival Mitch Daniels, governor of Indiana: "I know some people discount Mitch because he's not -- as they say in the NBA -- long enough. But the don't realize how scrappy he is. I watched him during dinner. He tore into that fillet like it was a public employee. And Mitch is experienced. Before he was governor Mitch was a pharmaceutical executive and he was George W. Bush's budget director. I don't have a joke here. I just want to point it out."

On a new spirit of bipartisanship: "We're seeing people with strong disagreements get along as never before. You have the former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, current Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney -- working together every day, sharing a host body. It's inspiring. Or creepy. Depending on how you look at it."

On House Speaker John Boehner's unusual coloring: "I used to think that it was a tan. But after seeing how often he tears up, I've come to realize: that's not a tan, that's rust."

On Rahm Emanuel: "You know, the day I hired Rahm as my chief of staff, unemployment was under 8 percent and my approval ratings were in the 60s. So, good luck, Chicago."

On Bill O'Reilly: "I love the press. I even sat for an interview with Bill O'Reilly right before the Super Bowl. That was a change of pace. I don't often get a chance to be in a room with an ego that's bigger than mine."

On negative coverage: "I just don't pay much attention to it. Most days I barely skim through the comment section of Huffington Post, Daily Kos, Firedog Lake, The Daily Dish, Boingboing.net."

On his critics: "I know that people think I'm not passionate enough. That I'm too cool. That I'm too detached. But as I was going through my daily routine -- sitting alone in my study, meditating, thinking about how to win the future -- I pondered this critique, and calmly rejected it as thoroughly illogical. And for all those who think I golf too much, let me be clear. I'm not spending time on the golf course -- I'm investing time on the golf course."

On TSA pat-downs: "America's favorite voyeur, TSA Administrator John Pistole is in the house. No hard feelings, John. I mean that literally. Please."

On ex-GOP congressman and Craigslist troller Chris Lee: "He wanted to be here tonight. But apparently he didn't know the rules -- no shoes, no shirt, no service."

On the evening drawing to a close: "I understand that the bar will be open until midnight. And I hope the government will be, too."

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

more jokes on March 11, 2011

2011-03-11T08:23:00.000-06:00

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered a role in a sequel to 'The Terminator.' In this one he travels back in time and kills the person who suggested he run for Governor." –Conan O'Brien

"Today residents of L.A. are voting on a tax on anything sold in a medical marijuana dispensary. If the measure passes the city could be solvent within 45 minutes." –Conan O'Brien

"Charlie Sheen says he's going to go to Haiti: 'I want to show them what a real disaster looks like.'" –Conan O'Brien

"A flight attendant was fired from Virgin Airlines for placing a baby in an overhead compartment. To be fair, the baby did not fit under the seat." –Conan O'Brien

"Welcome back to the part of the program I'm legally obligated to devote to Charlie Sheen, our new National Pastime." –Stephen Colbert

"In case you're unfamiliar with the term, journalism is an old-time occupation like boot blacking or alchemy." –Stephen Colbert

"Airlines are considering charging for reclining seats. Also, your scrotum now counts as a carry-on bag." –Stephen Colbert

"Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is a man who cheated on his first wife and left her while she was in bed with cancer. Then he cheated on his second wife with his current, third wife. I don't think actual newts are this slimy." –Bill Maher

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Friday, March 11. 2011 -Weekly Jokes

2011-03-11T08:22:00.000-06:00

"Julianne Moore is going to play Sarah Palin in a new HBO movie. Julianne said, 'But I know nothing about politics,' and the producers said, 'Perfect!'" –Craig Ferguson

"The President and First Lady attended a parent-teacher conference, and when they left, President Obama didn't look very happy. Apparently Joe Biden's being held back a grade." –Craig Ferguson

"In some countries Women's Day is a national holiday and men give women flowers. In America Women's Day falls on another holiday, Mardi Gras, where men give women beads in the respectful and post-feminist desire to see their naked boobies." –Craig Ferguson

"In New Orleans tonight the streets are awash in necklaces. If only you could have waited a few weeks, Lindsay Lohan." –Craig Ferguson

"In a new interview, Newt Ginrich says he cheated on two of his wives because he was too consumed with love for his country. Yeah, apparently he misunderstood the phrase, 'Please rise for the pledge of allegiance.'" –Conan O'Brien

"This is the last voyage of the Space Shuttle, and President Obama called them in space today: 'You're not going to believe what's happening with Charlie Sheen down here.'" –Conan O'Brien

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Metro snowpiles proliferate

2011-03-08T10:48:00.002-06:00

Snowpiles in the metro are really big. The snow keeps on falling and it is a certainty that great flooding will occur across the state. I took this picture of the United Health parking lot which is just across the street from the Bren Road Caribou in Edina.

Hay Lake scene - March 5, 2011

2011-03-08T10:44:00.001-06:00

TBH and I spent the weekend at Dave's place at Hay Lake. Dave will be in Texas for a few more weeks. They haven't had as much snow up there as we've had in the metro. The neighbors reported seeing a wolf chase a pair of deer across their front yard. I didn't see any wolves but I saw plenty of deer tracks. This picture shows my pile of brush to be burned, but there won't be any burning for a while.

Friday jokes - March 5, 2011

2011-03-04T09:06:00.000-06:00

"The Senate has sent President Obama a spending bill that gives the government enough money to keep going for two weeks. Our Congress has the financial planning skills of a college sophomore." —Conan O'Brien

"On a rambling call to a TV station, Gadhafi ranted about his enemies and blamed others for his problems. He said he feels fine and is ready to go back to work. He's now the Charlie Sheen of Libya." —Jay Leno

"Oprah has been invited by Egypt's new government to do a show from Cairo. So they've replaced one power-mad tyrant who's been ruling for 30 years with another one." —Conan O'Brien

"A federal watchdog agency says that overlapping and duplicate programs waste billions of dollars each year. Congress is taking this study so seriously that they're ordering a second study to look into it." —Jay Leno

"Moammar Gadhafi is blaming Osama bin Laden for all of Libya's troubles. It's going to be awkward when these two guys meet in hell." —Conan O'Brien

"People from all 50 states and 14 foreign countries have donated pizzas to the protesters in Wisconsin. Someone asked, "How can we fix things in Wisconsin?" and someone else said, "I know. More cheese." —Conan O'Brien

"According to the New York Post, former Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell — remember her — 'I'm not a witch'? — she's considering going on 'Dancing with the Stars.' Well at least now maybe people will finally start taking her seriously." —Jay Leno

"'King Kong' opened 78 years ago. It's the story of a woman that gets carried away by an ape. The same thing happened to Maria Shriver." —David Letterman

"Moammar Gadhafi gave a rambling speech that lasted nearly three hours. So now we know where all of Charlie Sheen's cocaine went." —Conan O'Brien

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Stone Arch Bridge

2011-02-28T09:31:00.002-06:00

I inadvertently went to the wrong floor at the Mill City Museum but happily I found this beautiful representation of the Stone Arch Bridge.

Norman and Cadwallader Washburn Pose With MCM Visitors

2011-02-28T09:27:00.001-06:00

My cousin Jane and her husband visited me recently while I was on duty at the Mill City Museum.

Justice prevails in Edina

2011-02-25T15:06:00.000-06:00

An Edina elementary teacher has been awarded $100,000 in a court case. She contended with an unruly first grade student and had her students leave the room while she tried to deal with the situation. She communicated with the parents about the episode and was then removed from her position by the school for violating the rights of the unruly student.

Litigation resulted in which the teacher was awarded one hundred grand.

More Jokes - Friday, February 26, 2011

2011-02-25T08:37:00.002-06:00

"President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was drive straight down the center and piss everyone off." —Conan O'Brien

"Bill Clinton recently revealed that he only sent two e-mails while he was President. Then he added, 'And it turns out those pills are just a scam.'" —Jimmy Fallon

"George Clooney says he's had sex with too many women to ever run for office. He was immediately made Prime Minister of Italy." —Conan O'Brien

"Economists say that with all this unrest, gas prices could rise to $5 a gallon. The good news is that instead of this money going to ruthless America-hating dictators, it will go to ruthless America-hating democracies." —Jay Leno

"Rahm Emanuel is expected to win the election for mayor of Chicago. In keeping with Chicago tradition, his victory was announced two weeks ago." —Conan O'Brien

"Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says he wants to outlaw prostitution in his home state of Nevada. Prostitutes say they're not going to take this lying down. For less than $50 bucks an hour." —Jimmy Fallon

"I'm glad we have a day for the presidents, but shouldn't we have a day for Congress when the Senate and the House can kick back and not worry about getting anything done? Oh, wait." —Craig Ferguson

"A year ago Michelle Obama started her campaign to end childhood obesity called 'Let's Move.' I think Americans have been very clear in their answer, 'No.'" —Jimmy Fallon

"The king of Saudi Arabia announced that he is giving his people $37 billion in subsidies and payments. It's not a stimulus package, it's a 'don't overthrow me' package." —Jay Leno

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

February 26, 2011 - Weekend Jokes

2011-02-25T08:34:00.003-06:00

"Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi said that people protesting against him are under the influence of 'hallucination pills.' In a related story, Charlie Sheen just boarded a plane to Libya." —Conan O'Brien

"Rush Limbaugh called Michelle Obama a hypocrite, criticizing her for eating ribs on vacation and said she isn't following her own dietary guidelines. Well, isn't that the morbidly obese pot calling the kettle African-American?" —Jimmy Kimmel

"Rush shouldn't talk. He would eat his own ribs if you put sauce on them." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi was on TV and he was angry and defiant. Then he went off the air and no one has seen him since -- kind of like Keith Olbermann." —Jay Leno

"Gadhafi said he will fight the protestors until the end and he will die as a martyr. The protestors responded by saying, 'Deal.'" —Jay Leno

"In order to acknowledge gay members Facebook added two new relationship options: 'In a civil union' and 'In a domestic partnership.' Then, to make sure they didn't miss anyone, they added 'One time in college.'" —Conan O'Brien

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

'Gnomeo and Juliet'

2011-02-23T16:42:00.001-06:00

TBH and I went to Eden Prairie this afternoon to see this delightful movie.

We give it a 'thumbs up' rating.

A little adventure goes a lawn way.

Another big snowstorm

2011-02-21T05:35:00.000-06:00

Seventeen inches. We didn't move yesterday and we won't be moving this morning, either. We will have to reschedule our 9 AM appointment with the tax preparer.

Zappenin' at 1106 - February 20, 2011

2011-02-20T11:15:00.001-06:00

It is snowing again in Minnesota. For about the 4th time this season we are stranded on a Sunday morning. I am fooling around with my Flip camera recording this latest snow event.

I have been adding baseball apps to my iPad. The coolest one is old baseball cards. My brother and I had a ton of baseball cards when we were kids. Gone. All gone.

On Saturday afternoon we went to the Mill City Museum for a book signing. Then we went to the Mall of America to meet up with some old friends. Lots of people out there. Full parking ramps.

Friday, February 19. 2011-Jokes

2011-02-18T08:04:00.000-06:00

"President Obama delivered his 2012 budget to Congress yesterday, but it probably won't get much action, since they still haven't yet passed a budget for 2011. But to be fair, they have been busy posting shirtless photos of themselves on Craigslist." —Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama was in San Francisco today, meeting with a group of technology executives, including Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. Their goal is to figure out how to create new jobs, to replace jobs that have been lost as a result of everyone spending all their time at work on Facebook." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Arkansas Congressman Steve Womack has proposed cutting funding for President Obama's teleprompter. Oh man, when Obama finds out he's going to be speechless." —Jimmy Fallon

"On Thursday Hosni Mubarak said he would not leave Egypt until he was dead. On Friday the crowd said, 'Deal!' So he fled." —Jay Leno

"President Obama unveiled his new budget, including $1 trillion in spending cuts, which Obama called the most painful choice he's ever made. Then he looked over at Joe Biden and said, 'OK, second most painful choice.'" —Craig Ferguson

"The New York Times says new cars will no longer be equipped with cassette players. Come on, it's 2011. People still read newspapers?" —Jimmy Fallon

"Facebook is looking into buying Twitter for around $10 billion. If all goes as planned, the company hopes to combine the two companies, creating the biggest waste of time the world has ever seen." —Jay Leno

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Zappenin' at 1106 February 15, 2011

2011-02-15T10:49:00.000-06:00

We are enjoying the warm weather although we would like some sunshine. We are Vitamin D deprived.

BB goes out now that the temps are rising. She has been out for as long as 30 minutes. Miss Peaches stays in. I washed the SUV yesterday removing several weeks of road grime. It's a good looking ten year old vehicle with 140,000 miles on it.

I have cut back on my schedule. I am now visiting King of Grace Lutheran School and Hopkins North Jr. High on Mondays and Tuesdays. I will no longer be volunteering at the other school where I had spent about a month.

I can look forward to going to about three or four Twins games this summer thanks to a Caribou Coffee friend who made tickets available. These are $14 tickets way up in the third tier in the outfield past third base. The players look small but the scoreboard is big. There have been some improvements to the stadium this year. The trees in the outfield have been removed because the hitters said that they were a distraction.

With the sports lull between the Vikings and the Twins, I am actually reading more. Major league pitchers and catchers start their workouts this week. Every team is a winner in the Hot Stove League.

Zappenin' at 1106

2011-02-12T08:44:00.000-06:00

It's much warmer here in Minneapolis. IT's been brutally cold all week.

we are going to Arlington today to see Grandma.

I have a new Flip movie camera. I think I'll shoot some big snow piles that are in the area.

BB goes outside now that the weather is warming up. She doesn't stay out for very long.

More Super Bowl Sunday Jokes

2011-02-06T15:45:00.000-06:00

"After the big snowstorm in Chicago, Mayoral candidate Rahm Emanuel has been pitching in digging stranded cars out of the snow. Of course he didn't help his campaign by telling people, 'Thank God I don't live here.'" —Conan O'Brien

"Vice President Joe Biden has suggested to people out of work to just 'hang in there.' What a difference two years makes: Remember 'hope and change'? Now it's 'hang in there.'" —Jay Leno

"They had a party at Dick Cheney's house and he invited 12 people to his birthday party. At midnight he told them, 'Only 11 of you will be leaving with a heart.'" —David Letterman

"Jon Huntsman, the U.S. ambassador to China, has told the Obama administration he plans to resign. The reason, he said, "How many nights in a row can you eat Chinese?" —Jay Leno

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Jokes on Super Bowl Sunday - February 6. 2011

2011-02-06T15:44:00.001-06:00

"Egypt has responded to hundreds of thousands of protesters by shutting down the Internet. Just a word of advice: If you want people to stay at home and do nothing, you should turn the Internet back on." —Conan O'Brien

"President Mubarak came out of his palace yesterday. He saw his shadow, so six more weeks of rock throwing in Egypt." —Jay Leno

"There was a huge snowstorm in New York yesterday. I was complaining about it all day to my friend in Egypt." —Jimmy Fallon
"While in Egypt, CNN's Anderson Cooper was attacked and beaten, which raises 2 questions. Is it safe to send our media into these places? And how do we get Glenn Beck over there?" —Conan O'Brien

"The good news is that Hosni Mubarak may step down. The bad news is that he may be replaced by his idiot son, Hosni W. Mubarak." —David Letterman

"Huge riots continuing in Egypt. Experts say one of the problems over there is, there's a huge difference in wealth between the extremely rich and the vast majority of people who have nothing. Well, thank God that could never happen in this country." —Jay Leno

"Protesters in Egypt are demanding that President Murabak step down by Friday. Murabak says he'll leave in 5 years and then hand the job off to Conan. Even Brett Favre was like, 'Come on man, retire already, you're embarrassing yourself.'" —Jimmy Kimmel

"Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak said he would resign, but Egypt would then descend into chaos. Then he said, 'Now, I have to go look out a window for the first time in two weeks.'" —Conan O'Brien

"Egyptian President Mubarak's son Gamal will not run for President. Why would he? An unpopular President is removed from office and his inexperienced son is voted in? That could never happen." —Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama invited John McCain to the White House to give his opinion on Egypt, specifically what it's like to be a mummy." —Bill Maher

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

St. Anthony Falls February 4, 2011

2011-02-06T15:25:00.002-06:00

This was a fairly pleasant winter day. The water is flowing at a good rate. To my knowledge, the Mississippi River doesn't freeze over.

The Third Avenue Bridge is seen in the background. Lock and Dam 1A is seen in the foreground.

Minnehaha Creek St. Louis Park MN

2011-02-06T15:20:00.002-06:00

This photo was taken from the 4th floor of Methodist Hospital. The view is to the south. Minnehaha Creek starts in Lake Minnetonka and empties into the Mississippi just past Minnehaha Falls in south Minneapolis The Minnehaha Creek Watershed District changed the creek at this point into a meander. The street is Excelsior Boulevard. Interlachen Golf Course is in the far distance.

10 AM Church Service

2011-02-05T01:33:00.000-06:00

Sunday church services at Heritage Lutheran will be at 10 AM in the church parking lot.

Fallen Church Roof

2011-02-04T16:01:00.000-06:00

Pastor Anderson provides this welcome bit of news. We needed prayer and a good insurance settlement.

The damage to the facility appears to be isolated to the
gym/multi-purpose room. The roof collapsed and blew out the northern
wall. The southern wall is intact. The rest of the building, including
entry way, new kitchen, bathrooms, school classrooms, sanctuary are all
intact and structurally unharmed. All portions of the facility suffered
water damage from broken pipes involved in the collapse.

As of 2:00 Friday afternoon, the electrical service has been restored,
along with heat and gas. Clean up, by a contractor provided through
Church Mutual Insurance, will begin work tomorrow. It is estimated that
we can be back in the facility (minus the gym!) in about a week.

We have excellent coverage through Church Mutual Insurance. Our policy
provides for complete replacement of the downed building, together with
replacement of all damaged furnishings. Insurance will also cover clean
up costs. At this time it is best that we let the professionals handle
the clean up and repair. No member or volunteer help is needed at this
time.

We will have to decide what to do for this Sunday, and where we might
operate out school for the coming week.

Church Roof Collapses

2011-02-04T07:13:00.000-06:00

Was more than surprised this morning to learn that there was a major calamity at our church during the night.

The roof collapsed at Heritage Lutheran Church in Apple Valley. It was the roof over the gym which gave way. The roof of the sanctuary did not collapse. The Local FD has said that the building is temporarily closed for occupancy. The collapse caused all kinds of damage.

The church was built in stages. KMSP 9 reported that the building supports were to be inspected this week but the roof collapsed before the inspections took place.

Monday evening, January 31, 2011

2011-01-31T17:18:00.000-06:00

I didn't go to either school today because of the snow. TBH was going to see her Mother but she decided against that, too. The snowfall was considerably greater to the south.

I shoveled twice. My piles are getting higher and higher. I invited BB to go out but this little cat knows to stay inside the warm house.

I did walk over to the 'Bou mid afternoon. It was a beautiful walk in the gently falling snow. TBH retrieved me later on. It was a great day to be out and about and I was glad that I wasn't a commuter.

The snow should continue on into the evening. Accumulation is not expected to be too heavy.

Zappenin' at 1106 - January 31, 2011

2011-01-31T08:58:00.000-06:00

Hey, it's snowing again. We haven't had much of anything for the past several weeks. Now we will probably get six inches today, maybe more. We've had a lot of snow but the major metros to the east of us have had much more.

I should have no problem in going over to King of Grace School and Hopkins North Junior High. I do the noon recess at KOG and assist in an ELL study hall at HNJHS on Mondays..

TBH was going to see her mother but the weather intervened. I washed the Milan yesterday and filled 'er up.

More Jokes - January 28, 2011

2011-01-28T08:08:00.000-06:00

"For the State of the Union address last night, Republicans and Democrats sat next to each other, instead of on opposite sides. The press called it 'date night.' How come they go on a date, but we're the ones who get screwed." —Jay Leno

"Tonight Democrats and Republicans paired up and sat next to each other. Fifty-five years after Rosa Parks we finally integrated Washington." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Egypt is in the second day of angry street protests. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is calling for calm. Because nothing calms an enraged Arab country like a powerful woman ordering it around." —Conan O'Brien

"The Republican response to the speech was fairly gracious. They said it was a pretty good speech for a foreigner." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Obama made a major announcement tonight. He's Oprah's half-brother. That's why there's been so much confusion about the birth certificate." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Did you hear about the State of the Union address drinking game? You listen to the speech, and every time you think about the actual state of the union, you take a drink. It helps." —Jimmy Kimmel

"In the State of the Union address tonight, President Obama focused his speech on how to bring prosperity back to America. It basically involves all of us convincing Oprah we're her half sister. That's the plan." —Conan O'Brien

"The terrorist group Hezbollah has taken control in Lebanon, and opponents have declared a 'Day of Rage.' Or as it's known in the Middle East, 'Tuesday.'" —Conan O'Brien

"A court has ruled that Rahm Emanuel is not legally allowed to run for mayor of Chicago, which in Chicago I believe means he won." —Stephen Colbert

"A Chicago court ruled former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel can't run for Mayor of Chicago. However, according to Chicago law, he's free to purchase the position." —Conan O'Brien

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Michele Bachmann Leads the Joke Parade - January 28, 2011

2011-01-28T08:02:00.000-06:00

"Tea Party rebutter Michele Bachmann is under fire for saying the Founding Fathers eliminated slavery. Sarah Palin is very upset. Another female Republican trying to steal the dumbass vote." —Jay Leno

"Rep. Michele Bachmann gave a rebuttal for the Tea Party, and she is a natural on camera. [She looked to the side the whole time.] Either the cue cards were in the wrong place or she was keeping an eye out for illegal immigrants the whole time." —Jimmy Kimmel

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

St. Anthony Falls - January 21, 2011

2011-01-25T09:19:00.001-06:00

It was well below zero on this January morning. The water pours over the apron and hits the concrete restrainers at the bottom. The water turns into vapor and freezes.

Jokes to warm you up on the coldest day of the year - January 21, 2011

2011-01-21T08:00:00.001-06:00

"The President of China is in Washington. It's a bit like when you're into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello." —Jimmy Kimmel

"The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. President Obama wore a traditional Chinese-made garment: a pair of Nikes." —Jay Leno

"The Republican-controlled House voted to repeal the healthcare bill. If that goes well, they'll see what they can do about this whole 'women voting' thing." —Conan O'Brien

"Doctors say Dick Cheney may need a heart transplant, but Cheney isn't worried. He's already picked out a hunting buddy." —David Letterman

"Dick Cheney predicts that President Obama will only last one term. This is coming from the same guy that predicted weapons of mass destruction in Iraq." —David Letterman

"President Obama held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. The world leader with the funny name, who grew up in Asia, said he enjoyed meeting President Hu." —Conan O'Brien

"Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, 'Your money is no good here.' Obama laughed, and Hu said, 'No, really, your money is no good.'" —Jay Leno

"There was a really awkward moment when the Chinese president met President Obama's daughters and asked them, 'So what factories do you kids work at?'" —Jay Leno

"Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the White House. Fox News said it was a gathering of the world's most powerful communist -- and the president of China." —Craig Ferguson

"Senate majority leader Harry Reid refused to attend the state dinner for Chinese President because he considers Hu Jintao a dictator. In response Jintao said, 'You're coming. You'll have the fish, and you'll like it.'" —Conan O'Brien

"After surprise visits to Afghanistan and Pakistan, Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq yesterday. Is it me, or is he just lost in that area?" —Jimmy Fallon

"Arnold Schwarzenegger said being Governor of California cost him at least 200 million dollars in lost movie roles. Moviegoers everywhere said, 'Totally worth it.'" —Conan O'Brien

"Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's considering doing a movie in which he would play a Nazi. He says that after being governor of California, he's looking for a job that will make people hate him less." —Conan O'Brien

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

It's Really Cold in Minnesota Today - January 21, 2011

2011-01-21T05:39:00.000-06:00

It's fifteen below this morning with an even nastier wind chill.

It's time for Pond Hockey competition. People come to Minneapolis from all over to compete for a snow shovel. It's great fun and I should really drive over tomorrow to see it.

Many schools are delaying the start of the school day because of the extreme cold.

Zappenin' at 1106 - MLK Day 2011

2011-01-17T16:43:00.000-06:00

Over 50 inches of snow has fallen this winter. That's two feet over normal. It just seems to be coming and coming all the time.

There is a big mass of arctic air just to the north of us. The temp today was a balmy 22 and I walked to the Bou. The cold arctic air will be coming in very soon.

Although the NFL season is over, there are still several exhibition games going on. To be prepared for the resumption of NFL play next September, we invested in a new TV. There was a big sale going on this weekend at Menard's.

Who will be our quarterback? Will our stadium be repaired?

Leslie Frazier, has, of course, been named the new Vikings coach. He is expected to add his old 1985 Bears teammate Mike Singletary as linebacker coach. For now, we can only hope that the future success of the team will develop.

Brett Favre has filed his retirement papers and I think that everyone really wants him to stay retired. He was a true warrior with a great record of achievement.

The Bears continue to win as do the Jets in the NFL post-season. There is activity on the baseball scene but I haven't gathered all of the details. It appears that Morneau will be able to play.

Iowa men can't win in Big Ten basketball but the women are doing OK. Iowa was one of only three Big Ten schools to have complete sell-outs at all home football games in 2010. I think that Ohio State and Wisconsin were the other two schools.

No school today at King of Grace and Hopkins North Jr. High. Tomorrow I start my second week at RCS.

No jokes this week

2011-01-14T08:08:00.002-06:00

The Arizona shooting is so bothersome that I will dispense with the jokes for a week.

Winter Views at Hay Lake (January 2011)

2011-01-10T10:16:00.000-06:00

We went to Hay Lake this weekend for our first winter visit of the season. The trees were covered with ice and snow.

It was twenty below on Sunday morning, January 9, 2011. We walked around and enjoyed the clean air.

The burn pile was covered with snow so that will have to wait.

Thanks to Dave for letting us use the house. Everything worked perfectly. We had heat and running water and beautiful scenery.

St. Anthony Falls - January 7, 2011

2011-01-10T09:56:00.001-06:00

This photo was taken from the 9th floor of the Mill City Museum. Lock and dam #1A is in the foreground. The 3rd Avenue Bridge is in the back. St. Anthony Falls is in Minneapolis MN.

The natural falls has been modified into an apron to preserve the falls. The underlying rock was eroding and by the 1870s a man-made apron had been installed. The current apron was done in the 1950s or 1960s.

The lock and dam is closed during the winter. The Mississippi river does not freeze up.

Minnesota: The Women Are Strong Here

2011-01-09T22:44:00.001-06:00

Garrison Keillor says that Minnesota is the place where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

The weekend news verifies the first part of this observation. A woman in Wadena was hit by a flying cow in a tornado last year and when she woke up the cow was on top of her. She was pregnant at the time and just now has given birth to a healthy baby.

Minnesotans can be proud of their strong women who survive falling animals in tornadoes.

January 7, 2011 - 3rd set of jokes

2011-01-07T08:49:00.001-06:00

"Thousands of birds fell dead in Arkansas. It's either al-Qaida, or Dick Cheney is hunting again." —David Letterman

"This weekend in Arkansas, thousands of dead birds dropped out of the sky and there were 100,000 dead fish in the rivers. Also, McDonald's is having a special on Chicken McNuggets and Filet of Fish." —Jay Leno

"You know why I think the birds fell out of the sky? Tweeting." —Jay Leno

"The commander of the USS Enterprise was relieved of duty because of his involvement in making raunchy videos while onboard the Navy ship. The good news: Today he was offered a job as a producer on 'Jersey Shore.'" —Jay Leno

"The captain of the USS Enterprise aircraft carrier has been relieved of command for appearing in raunchy videos on the ship. They are calling this the most embarrassing video involving Navy personnel since that guy from the Village People." —Jay Leno

"Christine O'Donnell is being investigated for using campaign funds to pay for personal expenses. I think it's a witch hunt." —Jay Leno

"Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar." —David Letterman

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Weekend jokes - January 7, 2011- 2nd set

2011-01-07T08:46:00.003-06:00

"Now that the Republicans have taken over the House, they're going to undo everything President Obama has done. John Boehner even told the Obama kids that the dog has to go back." —David Letterman

"Outgoing Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave a speech and handed the gavel to John Boehner. Very emotional moment for Pelosi, but she managed to keep a stiff upper lip, a tightly stretched forehead, and unnaturally arched eyebrows." —Jay Leno

"The last speaker, Nancy Pelosi has a frozen face and John Boehner has an orange face. If you put them together, you've got the Creamsicle of the House." —Jimmy Kimmel

David Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard During The Republicans' First Day In Charge Of The House"

10. "Mr. Boehner, please stop crying"
9. "How do we blame this dead bird thing on Obama?"
8. "I think he was just sworn in on a copy of Snooki's new book"
7. "Beer me!"
6. "Alright, you've had six hours, is the economy fixed?"
5. "Speaker Boehner, please stop blowing your nose"
4. "When is vacation?"
3. "No, Sen. McCain, Woodrow Wilson doesn't work here anymore"
2. "When do we get to sleep with the pages?"
1. "How soon can we go back to invading countries for oil?"

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Weekend jokes - January 7, 2011

2011-01-07T08:44:00.001-06:00

"The Republicans now control the House, and they say they're going to follow a strict interpretation of the original Constitution. So I hope you women and non-whites don't like voting." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Congress was broadcast live on Facebook for the first time in history. Now you can waste time and not get work done by watching Congress waste time and not get work done." —Jimmy Fallon

"The new Congress has been sworn in. To politicians the oath of office is like a New Years resolution to the rest of us. You try for a week or two and then say screw it." —Jay Leno

"Why is it no human being can withstand more than two years as a presidential press secretary? There must be an organ somewhere in the body that can only filter two years worth of heavy duty bullsh*t." —Jon Stewart on Robert Gibbs' retirement

"The new Republican-controlled House of Representative decided to start things off by reading the entire Constitution aloud. They took turns each reading a part of the Constitution. Then there was a break for lunch and a slave auction." —Jimmy Kimmel

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

A True Account of Winter in Minnesota

2011-01-07T08:42:00.000-06:00

I just got off the phone with a friend in the North.

He said that since early this morning the snow has been falling heavily and it is nearly waist high.

The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing, and his wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

[thanks for the joke, Al Unseth. Al formerly lived in Albert Lea and now he lives in Florida and I think that Al likes to rub it in.]

Zappenin' at 1106 on January 6, 2011

2011-01-06T17:26:00.000-06:00

Bert Blyleven, Twins announcer and former Twins ace, was selected for the MLB Hall of Fame. That makes everyone in Minnesota feel good.

We are going to Hay Lake for the weekend. One of the children is celebrating a birthday. There are any number of winter carnivals going on in the area. We will have fun just tramping around in the woods and on the lake.

I have been advised to bring along a snow shovel. I would like to burn the brush pile which we made in September.

Next week my schedule for 2011 gets underway. I will continue on with the Mill and the Blood Center. I will be at three different schools Monday through Thursday and will actually be teaching again after 43 years. Seasonal projects involving Adopt-A-Highway and Ft. Snelling will begin in April well after the snow has melted away.

Because of heavy rain in September and heavy snow in December, the state hydrologist predicts major spring flooding.

Sports teams in Minnesota are characterized by ineptitude this winter. The Timberwolves show some promise but then they fade like cheap socks in the 4th quarter.

Far too many Minnesotans have fallen to their deaths while clearing away snow and ice from their roofs.

No Minnesota birds are reported dead from mysterious circumstances. Minnesota birds can handle adverse weather conditions.

Grandma is settled into her new residence.

Civil War Anniversary

2011-01-03T11:23:00.001-06:00

Public observance of the 150th anniversary of the Civil War has begun. In that spirit I have begun to follow the series in the New York Times. Additionally, I have acquired the New York Times anniversary book, here shown.

As the jacket reports, this volume contains all the coverage of every campaign and battle as reported by the New York Times. Included are 104,960 eyewitness accounts and articles in the book and accompanying companion DVD-ROM.

I will be able to follow the events of the Civil War on the exact anniversary of each event all from the comfort of my own home.

I was able to purchase the book at a very favorable price because of some special offers from Borders books.

From First to Worst

2011-01-02T16:14:00.001-06:00

What a disappointment, but the season is over. Vikings lose to Detroit and complete their free-fall from being last Year's NFC Central champs to this Year's NFC Central chumps. Now there is no need to think about the Vikings until July when training camp opens in Mankato.

The college football season is also over. Iowa a finished the season on a winning note by winning the Insight Bowl.

1-1-11

2011-01-01T10:28:00.002-06:00

This old table is helping me to reflect at the coming of the new year, 2011. With the deaths of an ELS pastor's daughter and a Bethany professor I think about old friendships and acquaintances. My Dad was an ELS pastor and served as President of Bethany College from 1950-1970.

My mother-in-law is now moving to a new home. TBH thought that this old table would fit well in the new apartment and she is right.

The table goes way back in my memory. I remember that my mother used this table in her laundry area when we lived in the President's residence at Bethany College. That memory goes back 60 years.

TBH rescued the table from destruction when my parents moved to one of their last residences. She saw the beauty of the oak and the functionality of the two drop-leaf sections. We have used it in our home for the past several years. TBH placed one of Grandma Teigen's table cloths on the chair.

Old things can be put to continued good use. Not everything has to be discarded. There are some good things from one's past that have value.

A former Bethany prof passes away

2010-12-31T19:34:00.000-06:00

I have just learned that Iver Johnson has passed away.

Gail Lillo (nee Anderson)

2010-12-29T08:26:00.000-06:00

I have just received word of the death of Gail Lillo at age 63. Gail is survived by her husband Gary Lillo,and her father, ELS pastor Paul Anderson. The funeral will be held in Alaska where the Lillos have lived for many years. Blessed be her memory.

How about that? Vikings beat Philly 24-14

2010-12-28T22:25:00.000-06:00

Winning a game takes some of the disappointment away. I think that Viking fans felt that the Eagles were heavily favored to win this game.

How about that Joe Webb? He was the third-string quarterback for most of the season and he came through in a big way tonight.

Game Day

2010-12-28T07:51:00.001-06:00

I will be watching two football games tonight.

First, the Vikings take on Philadelphia. The Governor of Pennsylvania thought that the postponement of the game from Sunday meant that the country was becoming wussified. some parochial Minnesotans felt that the Vikings were being penalized so that the Eagles could showcase Eagles QB Vick. Vick who served time for animal cruelty, has been praised by the President for his rehabilitation.

The Vikings could do with some rehabilitation. Tom Powers in the Pi Press calls the Vikings the Typhoid Marys of the NFL. The Vikings bring disease wherever they travel.

One local writer blames all woes on The Curse of Childress.

The lengthening winter has brought forth a new whine: the crossword puzzles in the Strib are too difficult.

I don't have a feel for the Iowa-Missouri game which kicks off at 9 PM. Missouri is favored by three. I will not be surprised by the outcome.

Last year was a good football year with Iowa and the Vikings both doing well. this year hasn't been so good.

Mankato Minnesota December 26

2010-12-26T14:07:00.001-06:00

we are in Mankato for a birthday observance. On our way to,the restaurant, we drove past the site of the 1862 execution of 38 Sioux Indians. There was traffic congestion in front of the Mankato Public Library where the public monument is on display.

Many people were on horseback so I presume that some planned observance was underway.

In 1862 the captive Indians were kept in an area that is now known as Land of Memories Park. The distance between the two places, is I suppose, two miles. The Indians that weren't hanged spent the winter of 1862-1863 in this area. Nearby Winnebago Indians in an agency at St.Clair were permanently removed from the state.

The execution of the 38 captives was supported by 1500 armed Minnesota soldiers.

This event was one of the most significant events in the entire 150 year history of the state. The passions and ill-will of Minnesotans is still vivid for some. Last week Nick Coleman wrote a great piece in the Strib about the tragedy of the Dakota War of 1862. Many of the comments to Coleman's piece expressed the racist remarks of those 1862 Minnesota citizens who wanted President Lincoln to kill all of the Sioux in Minnesota.

It is a sad story. The site currently has a major thoroughfare running through and an epic MnDOT bridge passing over it. It is a place for honest reflection on past horrors.

The Cost of Winter

2010-12-23T15:08:00.001-06:00

The Pi Press reports that snow removal costs this winter have already blown a million dollar hole in the City of St. Paul's budget. The financial effects of the storm are perhaps equally troubling around the metro.

Municipalities are running out of places to dump their snow. Snow cannot be dumped into the Mississippi because the snow contains pollutants. The City of Hokins has a major dumping spot near 1106 and the tree line around this area has totally dead or diseased trees. What kind of junk are the cities and MnDOT putting into these chemical formulations? I like clean streets and highways but I don't like pollution either.

As I recall from my days on the board of Westbrooke Patio Homes, the association here had a fixed account with a snow removal service. If it was a mild winter, the snow removal service came out ahead. If it was a tough winter, like this one, then the Association would win out.

How about that rain in California? I'd sure hate to have my home slide down a hill.

No news today about the Vikings is good news. No more dome collapse news. No Brett Favre revelations. Also, there is no hope for winning any more games this season.

True Grit

2010-12-22T17:48:00.003-06:00

We took the visiting New Yorkers on a sight-seeing tour this afternoon. We ended up in Eden Prairie where we saw the Coen Bros. remake of 'True Grit.'

See it. It's a great movie.

Winter Has Come

2010-12-21T05:14:00.002-06:00

The calendar notes that winter is here. It's been a good one so far. Any more snow this month will result in an accumulation record.

The big game is over. The Vikings stunk up the Bank as Chicago has deservedly won the NFC championship. Congratulations to Da Bears.

A crew of five or six men shoveled the sidewalk by 11 PM. The street out front was plowed at about the same time by the City of Hopkins.

I don't anticipate any problems in my trip to MSP to retrieve the traveling New Yorkers.

The Snow Has Stopped

2010-12-20T18:52:00.000-06:00

I 've just been outdoors. The snow has stopped. It's 23 degrees. It's beautiful.

We only live 15 miles from the stadium. I ask TBH to drive me over there because I think that I could snag a ticket at the door. She predictably refuses. I shovel instead the driveway and the patio and prepare to watch the game on TV.

Snow Emergency in Hopkins

2010-12-20T16:16:00.004-06:00

The City of Hopkins has declared a snow emergency. This means that cars must not be on city streets after 10 PM tonight so that the plowing crews can clean up the accumulated snow.

We are meeting the incoming family New Yorkers at the MSP airport at 8 AM tomorrow morning

What about the game tonight at TCF Bank Stadium?

Whoa! Minny Miracle Is Possible Tonight

2010-12-20T14:05:00.001-06:00

It's been snowing pretty steadily since mid-morning. I am glad that I don't have to go far beyond my favorite coffee shop.

Now, a miracle in Minny is possible. St. Favre of Hattiesburg might get the call to start tonight against the Bears.

By the way, that was a pretty exciting football game yesterday. I watched the end of the Eagles come-from-behind win over the Giants. the Eagles were way behind and came back to win it on the last play, a walk-off punt return.

Monday in Minny -December 20,2010

2010-12-20T10:29:00.001-06:00

The effects of the big storm are still with us after ten days. The MnDOT crews have widened the roadways by hauling away snow.

Yesterday we saw a MnDOT truck that was stuck in the ditch. The right set of wheels on the vehicle were in the snow and the left wheels were in the air. Apparently the driver was trying to widen the lane and misjudged how far over into the ditch he had progressed.

I was quite impressed on Saturday when I learned that three Memorial Blood Center volunteers delivered the goods, i.e. the blood products, on Storm Day. I think that I may earlier have qritten about the Woodbury hospital employee who walked six miles in two hours to make her 7 AM shift.

The ones who had the most difficult time in the storm were those with a strong sense of personal entitlement. Typical of these people were certain Vikings fans who were upset that the seating tonight at the TCF Bank Stadium for the Bears game would be "open." These people wanted the same seats at the Bank that they would have had at Mall of America stadium if the roof hadn't collapsed.

Other Viking fans didn't like it that there would be no booze for sale. The University of Minnesota doesn't allow it (neither does Michigan, Ohio State, Iowa and most other universities). Surdyk's, a local retailer, placed ads in the sports pages of the two papers encouraging fans to stop in and get a bottle or two that would fit in among the warm clothing required for the game that would eacape Security detection.

The game is meaningless, for the Vikings at least. The Vikings are way out of the playoffs. The hoped-for miracle worker, Brett Favre is disabled. The back-up quarterback is out for the season after only one game. The QB position is now down to a 3rd stringer who is really a wide-receiver.

The Metrodome isn't the only thing that has collapsed around here.

Meanwhile this weekend brings a re-union of the Fifty Greatest Vikings. Fifty greatest Vikings? You've got to be kidding me. This franchise hasn't been successful enough in 50 years to have the 50 greatest anythings. How about the 50 greatest beer vendors in Vikings history?

Several of the current Vikings players have publicly that they don't want to play outdoors tonight. It's too cold and the field is frozen. The old Vikings have ridiculed the current players for being wimps about the weather.

But what gives the old Vikings license to criticize the modern daynplayers? Neiher the old Vikings nor the modern day Vikings have won the big ones.

Now, at 10:30 AM, the snow is starting to fall. Commuters are in for another rough afternoon. Football fans will be uncomfortable without their booze and without their accustomed seats. And the Vikings are likely to lose another game.

And that's the way it is Minny on a Monday morning.

What do you call a Minnesota Viking with a Super Bowl ring? A thief.

Norm's In Form

2010-12-17T17:44:00.000-06:00

Today new and old friends from the Edina-Bren Rd. Caribou met for Christmas cheer.

Bob Wilkins of Edina wrote limericks to honor each of the attendees. Bob has been very supportive in my bariatric surgery adventure as his poem will attest.

Once resembling the Incredible Hulk
He's dequantified most of his bulk.
His profile's now svelte
His excess all melty.
He orders his drinks with skim mulk.

Still More - Jokes Friday, December 17, 2010

2010-12-17T08:58:00.000-06:00

"Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real." —Conan O'Brien

"Someone apparently found an old Internet dating profile posted by WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, and it has been posted online. Assange was furious, saying 'Some things are supposed to be private.'" —Conan O'Brien

"FedEx said that it shipped 16 million packages today on its busiest day of the year. That's right, they handled 16 million packages. Or as the TSA calls that, 'kind of a slow day.'" —Jimmy Fallon

"George W. Bush's daughter, Jenna, just put her home in Baltimore on the market for $500,000. The real estate agent said, 'I just want to warn you that offers have gone way down ever since the economy was ruined by . . . someone.'" —Jimmy Fallon

"Michelle Obama said that obesity is a national security threat because 1 in 4 young people are too overweight to join the military. Couldn't we just have a separate fat army to fight in countries that don't have hills?" —Jimmy Kimmel

"Mark Zuckerberg was named Time's Person of the Year. I'm sorry if you don't recognize the name. A magazine is something people used to read." —Craig Ferguson

"Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has been named Time magazine's Person of the Year. They said he has single-handedly changed the way we waste time at work." —Jay Leno

"Time magazine is now ranking the best tweets of the year and, according to Time, the best tweet for 2010 was written by John McCain. Experts say it's even more impressive because McCain thought he was opening his garage door." —Conan O'Brien

"Anderson Cooper has announced that the title of his new show is just 'Anderson.' I think I speak for everyone here at 'Conan' when I say, 'God, what an ego on that guy!'" —Conan O'Brien

"Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.'" —Craig Ferguson

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

More Sarah Palin Jokes

2010-12-17T08:56:00.000-06:00

"Sarah Palin is going to Haiti this weekend to deliver humanitarian aid. If there's one thing that's reassuring, it's seeing Sarah Palin above you in a helicopter." —Jimmy Fallon

"Poor Haitians, they can't get a break. First the earthquake, then the hurricanes, and now Sarah Palin." —David Letterman

"Kate Gosselin was on the TLC show, 'Sarah Palin's Alaska,' and Palin told Kate that you're putting your family in danger if you don't bring a gun with you in the wilderness. Of course there's always the other option: not taking your kids into the wilderness." —Jimmy Kimmel

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

Top 10 Sarah Palinisms

2010-12-17T08:54:00.000-06:00

1. "Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate." --a Tweet by Sarah Palin, which she quickly removed after being ridiculed for inventing the word "refudiate," July 18, 2010

2. "'Refudiate,' 'misunderestimate,' 'wee-wee'd up.' English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!'" --a follow-up Tweet by Sarah Palin, proudly mistaking her illiteracy for literary genius, July 18, 2010

3. "But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies." --Sarah Palin, after being asked how she would handle the current hostilities between the two Koreas, interview on Glenn Beck's radio show, Nov. 24, 2010

4. "Energy," "budget," (crossed out), "tax cuts" and "lift American spirit." --crib notes written on Sarah Palin's hand while she spoke at a Tea Party convention

5. "I didn't really had a good answer, as so often -- is me." --Sarah Palin, on writing notes on her hand during her Tea Party convention speech, March 5, 2010

6. "We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn't that ironic?" --Sarah Palin, admitting that her family used to get treatment in Canada's single-payer health care system, despite having demonized such government-run programs as socialized medicine that will lead to death-panel-like rationing, March 6, 2010

7. "Extreme deep water drilling is not the preferred choice to meet our country's energy needs, but your protests and lawsuits and lies about onshore and shallow water drilling have locked up safer areas. It's catching up with you. The tragic, unprecedented deep water Gulf oil spill proves it." --Sarah Palin, blaming the Gulf oil spill disaster on "extreme environmentalists," Facebook note, June 2, 2010

8. "I think it's appalling and a violation of our freedom of the press." –Sarah Palin, speaking about the negative media coverage of Republican congressional candidate Vaughn Ward, Boise, Idaho, May 21, 2010

9. "Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant -- they're quite clear -- that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments." –-Sarah Palin, arguing that Judeo-Christian belief was the basis for American law and should continue to be used as a guiding force for creating future legislation, interview with Bill O'Reilly, May 6, 2010

10. "I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree." --Sarah Palin, Fox News interview with Sean Hannity, Nov. 22, 2010

[source: Dan Kurtzman]

A Proposed Solution To Keep Schools Open

2010-12-17T02:50:00.000-06:00

There was much public discussion about the closing of Minneapolis and St. Paul schools after The Big Snowstorm of last weekend.

The boys on KSTP radio have suggested that metro area high schools form competitive snow shoveling teams. This would be a sport where students could earn letters for their participation. This would be a way for schools to be open after a big snowfall.

There could be an end of season competition between the Capitol City and the Mill City for a Metro Area snow shoveling championship trophy.

The boys got carried away with this and I enjoyed their chatter as I drove over to St. Paul for a 3:30 meeting. I was getting tired of hearing about Favre's bum shoulder and TJ's turf toe.

More Storm Related Stuff

2010-12-16T07:41:00.003-06:00

Last night when I went to bed I had decided to go to the TCF Bank Stadium on the University of Minnesota campus to help out with the snow shoveling. The need was for people to remove the snow in time for Monday's game against the Bears.

When I got up at 6:30 I decided not to go and thereby passed up an opportunity to make ten bucks an hour. I decided that I would rather go to the 'Bou and think about snow shoveling over a latte.

Yesterday's Pi Press carried a story about a dedicated employee who walked six miles in two hours in the storm to get to her hospital job by 7 AM. That's dedication.

Today's Pi Press ran a story about two streets that had been overlooked by the snow removal crews in that city. No wonder people are ticked off.

Meanwhile I am trying to figure out how the stadium dome collapsed.One report on TV was that the combined weight on the roof on Sunday morning was equal to four 747 airplanes. It wasn't just the weight of the snow that brought down the roof. It was the snow AND the hot water that was being used to wash away the accumulated snow. I need to follow up on this.

And the dilapidated roof of the dome continues to fall. Another panel has given way.

Not So 'Minnesota Nice'

2010-12-15T14:15:00.002-06:00

One of my pet peeves in common use here in Minnesota is the phrase 'Minnesota Nice.' I don't think that the people here are any more, or any less, 'nice' than the people anywhere else.

Minnesotans weren't so nice when they hanged 38 Sioux Indians in Mankato in 1862.

Right now there is a trial in Rice County of a Faribault nurse who is charged with some demonic crimes. You may have seen this on '60 Minutes' or '48 Hours' or some such similar news program.

The defendant is charged with aiding in two suicides on the internet. One of the suicides was a 32 year old woman in England and the other was an 18 year old man in Ontario. The TV report detailed how this man posed as a sympathetic figure to persons suffering from acute mental distress and then encouraged, and witnessd, their suicides. It's an awful case.

The defendant has two arguments: it's a free speech case, message sending is not a crime; the Minnesota court has no jurisdiction because rhe suicides didn't occur in Minnesota. The judge, according to the AP report has ruled that speech that aids in the suicide of another is not protected; the messages were sent from Minnesota so the Minnesota court does have jurisdiction

I will continue to follow this case. And, don't use the phrase 'Minnesota Nice.'

End of rant.

Vikings Will Play at TCF Bank Stadium

2010-12-14T21:13:00.000-06:00

Surprise, surprise. The Vikes will play at the Bank.

The Dome cannot be ready in time for Monday's scheduled game with the Bears so the action will go outdoors.

Perhaps the Vikings could partner with the University of Minneaota on a future stadium expansion. This expanded stadium could house both the Vikings and the Gophers and keep the Vikings in Minnesota.

More Stress

2010-12-14T17:13:00.002-06:00

Will the repairs for Mall of America Field be ready for Monday night's game? A very serious attempt is underway to get things ready.

Meanwhile, St. Paul Mayor Dan Coleman was critical of the School Sooper who decided against having school today. Her reasons were that the streets haven't been plowed and that it is too cold for school.

Minneapolis Mayor R.T.Rybak defended the Minneapolis Sooper who also cancelled classes today.

Comments on Strib and Pioneer Press articles re snow removal are critical of slow snow removal. Maybe people are more stressed about the collapse of the dome roof and the collapse of the Vikings than anything else.

Is there some humor to be found in all of this public negativity?